Time ‘flies’ when you’re havin’ fun

Once a week, usually Thursday, The Outdoors Guy and I go out for dinner.
One week he chooses the restaurant and the next week it’s my turn.
This past week, he chose a favorite local spot. We decided to dine on the patio after a staff member assured us the mosquitoes hadn’t been bad.
The couple at the next table left shortly thereafter, but soon another couple was seated behind The Outdoors Guy.
We were having a pleasant evening until an unwanted guest joined our twosome. I looked at The Outdoors Guy and, WHAM! I hit the side of his head with the palm of my hand. A fly, not a mosquito, had decided to join our party of two. Of course, I missed the fly. But within a few seconds, I said, “He’s baaaack!!!!” WHAM! I hit again… and missed …again! Arggghhh!
But at the same moment, my eyes shifted. I immediately realized the new couple saw me whack Bob on his head. Yet, they didn’t know why. They couldn’t see the fly because Bob’s back was to them.
EEEKKK!!! They looked troubled for a split second until I said…”a fly!” Then The Outdoors Guy, not yet seeing their faces spoke up loud and clear…”Spousal abuse,” he cried. At that point we all started laughing.
The third time was a charm. The fly made the mistake of landing on The Outdoors Guy’s upper arm where there was enough real estate so I could get a good hit. I also had no concern for causing him brain damage…lol! So, I landed a resounding WHAM!!! The fly landed on the patio. We, along with the other couple, cheered! The fly crawled around on the ground, obviously disabled, until I put it out of it’s misery.
As we left, I told The Outdoors Guy the fly obviously liked his cologne. He begged to differ and explained it had to be his magnetic personality. I, however countered with, “I think it picked up on the fish scent from your earlier trip to the boathouse!!”
I had hit upon a reason he couldn’t dispute!!! But, we also determined there will be no more patio dining for this couple!